If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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