his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
