ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
