So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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