she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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