Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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