Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
