i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Found the puke drawer
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
