We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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