honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
nutella sex= disaster
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
