dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
