Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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