Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
my liver is dry heaving
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
