too bad you live with your parents still
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
