You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
