Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
