I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
