Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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