glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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