dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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