My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
