lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
