i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
