i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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