College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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