so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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