I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
