there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
