I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
