So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
love makes seman taste better
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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