went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
