its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
