I'm going to jail i love you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
whose parrot is this?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
