Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
