I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize