and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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