There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
