her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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