Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
