Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think people are normalizing furries
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
