did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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