Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
