i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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