I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
