i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize