Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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