the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
