Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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