looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
