Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
