he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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