Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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