mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
