Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i've created a new STD.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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