I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
