I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
