This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
