The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wish I only lived at night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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