"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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