that's an acceptable place to lick
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
