I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
