I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
