I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
